To live the golden rule, you occasionally have to change your shoes
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
I am going to be bluntly honest about a few things. This is not in an effort to be mean, spiteful, or disrespectful (as I fear some of these comments may be read), but it is important to me to be direct and honest. It may be the best way to create understanding.
To me, the teaching that homosexuality is wrong is the preaching of "hatred and closed mindedness." However, I also believe in an inherent right for others to say otherwise. The problem is that there is a difference between this discussion and the culture war that rages in this country. I don't want to ban anyone's right to say they see homosexuality as a choice, or even that it is un-natural. I disagree to my core, but I would not trample my fellow man's freedom of expression. I cannot say the same about those I see in the media preaching against same sex marriage. I would not take away anyone's rights because I am uncomfortable with them, I expect the same in return.
To me, the greatest terrorists to the American way of life are those whose language goes beyond "I disagree with homosexuality" to "same-sex marriage should be outlawed.” This argument, in my mind parallels all other hate speech and is no more acceptable than the anti-racial epithets of the KKK and should carry no more weight than the idea of denying anyone their free exercise of religion. Read the Federalist Papers, especially number 45, you'll get a good sense of why we are a government who protects the rights of all people and not simply that of an alleged majority.
I realize those statements are harsh. I make them for two reasons. First, I have read and listened to countless statements which are equally as harsh and offensive to me all delivered in the name of "understanding" and in some instances "loving Christianity." To deal with similar statements helps others understand more of what a queer youth goes through growing up. Second, I want you to really see who I am and what I have gone through. These statements directly represent nobody but me, but are crucial if you truly want to understand.
I have personally sought out those who were willing to quote phrase after phrase out of the bible and then looked up those phrases for myself. For me and an increasing number of biblical scholars there is not a single passage in the bible which condemns same-sex attractions or same-sex marriage. To those who have used these passages as insults to myself and others like me, such is the plain language of THEIR bible. Now I can go on and on about how the same arguments went back and forth in the 1950 and 60's in reference to interracial marriage. If I take the time I can even find an article citing historical references to a papal marriage ceremony in the 15th century where two men were wed both lawfully and in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church. However, such an exercise would miss my point. I am writing my story, not theirs, and simply cite them as materials I have read.
Here's what I do know, about me. I know that I never, in my whole life, CHOSE to be gay. I don’t know a single heterosexual who “chose” to be who they are, the same is true for me. I have, however, chosen to be open about who I am in the face of those who would hate me for no more than that. When people assert that my sexual orientation is a choice, it hurts, deeply. This is a very personal thing for me to say about myself and my most deeply held beliefs, but there is no other way for me to understand my existence than to know that my creator made me gay.
There is nothing easy about living my life as an out gay man. I wonder, everywhere I go, about whether or not coming out as the individual I know myself to be in the deepest fiber of my core is going to have negative consequences. These consequences do not exist because it is wrong for me to be who I am, but because some people hate me for it. For me, it is no more right to be interested in women for marriage, for sex, or for the intimate relationships which are necessary to form the loving bond necessary for blissful matrimony than the same is true for any of my straight friends to be in a same-sex relationship. However, I accept it when the American Psychological Association tells me that these straight people and I are both acting on inherently "natural" behaviors. That statement becomes dispositive to me when the American Medical Association, and the American Pediatric Association also adopt the same findings.
Respectfully submitted
posted by ZEUS @ 9:53 PM,
